“You teach best what you most need to learn.” – Richard Bach
As I sat down to write today’s post, I found myself having to take a big heaping spoonful of my own medicine. I didn’t like the way it tasted going down, but I know I’ll feel better for having taken it. That’s the problem with sharing your ideas in such a public format: you leave yourself open to people calling you on your BS when you’re not applying your own wisdom. I guess that’s not really a problem, though…probably more of a benefit since it keeps you in alignment with your own philosophy.
The scary (and kind of cool) part, though, is when you start to catch yourself in the act before someone else has to point it out to you. That’s when you know you’re getting close to living your truth.
I’ve been having that experience more and more often. Like today when I was driving home from the office. I suddenly realized that I was in a funk (and had been for a couple of days) because I was trying to control the outcomes in my life (the things I can’t control) instead of focusing on the processes (the things I totally have control over).
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One of the worst questions a sales manager can ask a salesperson is, “So when is Prospect X going to sign with us?” I’ve got news for you Mr./Ms. Sales Manager: not only is that question impossible for your salesperson to answer, it clearly demonstrates that your management efforts are misguided. Instead of managing the sales process, which is squarely under the control of you and your salespeople, you are trying to manage the outcome, something that neither you nor your salesperson is capable of doing.
Understand this: while you and your salespeople are in control of the sales process, your prospects and customers are in control of the buying process. And the buyer is ultimately the one who controls the outcome of any sales situation. We’ve all had the experience of executing the sales process flawlessly only to have the prospect we were courting say “No thanks” in the end; it happens, and it’s out of our control. Getting frustrated or angry about it is silly; it’s like being mad that it rained today. Recognize that it’s out of your control, let it go, and move on.
Does that mean that sales managers should just forget about the performance of their sales people? Not at all! They just need to shift their focus from the things they can’t control (outcomes) to the things they can control (processes). Are the salespeople in their charge following a good sales process, or are they “making it up as they go”? Has the process been clearly defined? Are their rules of engagement and scripted responses for different contingencies? Those are the things you have control over; manage them.
And if you’re reading this thinking that it doesn’t apply to you because you don’t manage salespeople, think again. If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner who is an army of one, you have to apply these same principles to your own sales efforts. Too many solo business owners are not taking their sales efforts seriously. Sales is something they do when they feel like it or something they will try to get to “when things aren’t so crazy.” As a result, they’re in a constant feast/famine cycle that they just can’t break.
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If you’re not going to put 100% effort into doing a great job then don’t do your job. Just stay home. Catch up on some sleep. Take the day and vege. Heck, take the rest of your career off.
While that’s a pretty rough statement, in this “value-driven world” it’s very appropriate. Luckily there’s a positive side to it as well.
Very early on my grandfather drilled the need to “do your job well” into my head. His favorite one-liner was, “If you don’t have the time to do it right the first time how are you ever going to have the time to do it over?” (And believe me, if he thought it wasn’t right you DID do it over.) Lucky Strikes and Jim Beam aside, my grand-dad was a wise man.
He also taught me to shake hands the proper way, to remember names, and always say “thank you”. He never read an email and probably wouldn’t have made it as long as he did if somebody had sent him a TXT message. If he were alive today I’m sure he’d be labeled a renaissance man.
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No matter what anyone says, the internet is the coolest place in the world, especially since that whole Web 2.0 evolution. Where else can you meet so many fantastic people from around the world (and right in your own backyard) who think like you do?
I’ve been reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau for the third or fourth time, and I can’t imagine what it must have been like for a guy like him; he seemed to be constantly frustrated by the refusal of his fellow townspeople to think about anything other than their crops and the latest gossip. Sure, he could go visit Ralph Waldo Emerson (what was it with these guys and the three names?) and chat about transcendetalism, but what then? No wonder he wandered into the woods for a couple of years to just be alone.
Thoreau would have loved the internet, I think. He would have been able to read everything he ever wanted to, connect with other like minds and discuss or debate ideas until the cows came home. He would have found his tribe, have no doubt. I know I have.
In a little over a year, I’ve met more intelligent, articulate, clear-thinking people than I did in the previous decade. Many, in fact most, I’ve never met in person; our relationships are entirely virtual, but the connections are real, nevertheless. Here are a few of my virtual friends and a taste of what they’re doing to make a difference:
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“That age will be rich indeed when those relics which we call Classics, and the still older and more than classic but even less known Scriptures of the nations, shall have still further accumulated, when the Vaticans shall be filled with Vedas and Zandavestas and Bibles, with Homers and Dantes and Shakespeares, and all the centuries to come shall have successively deposited their trophies in the forum of the world. By such a pile we may hope to scale heaven at last.” – Henry David Thoreau in Walden
I know he wasn’t aware of it at the time, but I’m pretty sure Thoreau was talking about the internet when he wrote those words. We have the greatest repository of information the world has ever seen, right at our fingertips. That said, we should be the best-read generation of all time…but we’re not. A study conducted by the National Endowment for the Arts in 2004 found that fewer than half of American adults read literature for pleasure. Fewer than half!
That’s a stunner, particularly considering the overwhelming evidence that being an avid reader is the one thing that most successful people have in common. Self-education by reading great books is a key to your personal development, which has to come before you can hope to make improvements in other areas of your life.
Understand this: if you want to improve your lot in life, you’re going to have to get in the habit of reading. A lot. Every day. Sorry: the fact that you don’t enjoy reading is entirely irrelevant. You’ll get used to it, and you’ll probably even start to like it after awhile. It may (and probably will) become one of your favorite activities. You’ll begin to wonder what you did all those years before you realized how delightful a good book can be.
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One of the biggest challenges I face as a budding entrepreneur is what to do when I get stuck on a project. I know I’m not alone; in fact, this post was inspired by a friend on Facebook who is one of those wacky serial entrepreneurs you’ve read about (thanks for the idea, Travis). It was nice to find out I wasn’t the only one who gets in this mode from time to time.
The question remains, though: what should you do when you get stuck? Is it better to muscle through in an attempt to get to the other side? Or are you better off just giving in to the “stuck”-ness and switching gears to a different task? Or should you, as my friend Joel D Canfield says you sometimes should, just call it a day and head for the beach?
The answer, of course, is that there’s no one right answer. That said, here’s what I do: I meditate. Rather than make a decision when I’m feeling frustrated by a lack of progress or productivity, I’ll consciously make an effort to step away from the project for a set period of time, say 15 or 30 minutes. During that time, I might push my chair back, close my eyes, and let my mind wander; or I might take a brisk walk and take in the scenery (this is especially effective on perfect spring days like the one we had today in Sacramento).
Whatever I do, I purposely let go of any thoughts of the project I was stuck on and just take some time to enjoy being (thanks to Paul Coltharp for reminding us of that one). You’d be amazed at how powerful this little exercise can be. Sometimes I return to the project with a fresh outlook and manage to get past the place where I was stuck; other times, I realize I’m not going to get anywhere right then and I pick up something else to work on and leave the current project for later. Either way, it beats staring at a blank computer screen and waiting for something to happen.
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It seems like I’m finding more and more occasions to quote Edward Norton’s character at the end of the movie “Fight Club”: after realizing he’s been suffering from a split personality, brawling with the other personality, and, ultimately, shooting himself in the mouth to get rid of his other personality (oh, and did I mention blowing up San Francisco’s financial district?), he turns to his girlfriend and says “You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
That’s what I keep wanting to tell the people around me: you met me at a very strange time in my life. Changing careers, starting new ventures and partnerships, reconsidering long-standing relationships, trying to keep my head above water and reprogramming my unconscious mind has made for a very interesting couple of years, to say the least. Here’s the thing, though: I know I’m not alone.
If there’s one good thing that’s come out of the economic upheaval of the past year or so, it’s the fact that so many of us are stopping to re-examine what’s truly important in our lives. Sure, the answers have been pretty startling to some of us, but it’s been a cleansing that’s been a long time coming. We’ve been so caught up in the material and mundane for the last decade that a lot of us forgot who we really are and what truly matters to us.
I’m not saying that we need to start shaving our heads and pummeling each other in basements and parking lots in the middle of the night. What we do need, though, is a good healthy dose of temporary insanity, a chance to step back from the routine of life and have a look at the ruts we’re wearing into our souls.
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I had big plans for tonight’s blog post. It was going to be amazing and life-changing for all of my readers. It was going to be the best blog post ever written. And then it happened: life.
I went straight from the office to a Master Mind meeting; when I got home, I realized it was my night to cook. After we ate, I sat down to blog, then got into a long conversation with my wife about her hectic day. When I got back, I realized two things: it was really late, and I still had a podcast episode to edit and post. Gah. So much for the world’s first perfect blog post.
As I was editing the podcast, though, I remembered one of the core concepts we’d discussed in this episode: what to do when your real life interrupts your work life. It’s an interesting question, and one that gets a lot of consideration. A lot of experts urge you to find this mythical place called “work-life balance” (if you ever find it, please send me the map). What I remembered was one of the things our guest, Dan Waldschmidt, had said: work-life balance is a pipe dream.
Face it folks: if you’re working hard on your business, chances are pretty good that other areas of your life (your relationships, your health, etc.) are going to suffer a little. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just the way it is when you only have 24 hours to get done what needs doing. We’re only human after all.
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This past week, I’ve been re-reading Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau and contemplating why I’m so drawn to Thoreau’s message of non-conformity. It all began to make sense to me when I got this Copyblogger article by Sonia Simone in my email last Thursday.
The post basically said that in order to be a successful entrepreneur you have to be a little nuts. You have to be willing to step outside the realm of what others, particularly your “normal” friends and family, consider to be right for you. Taking the plunge and trying to create a great business that supports your lifestyle is risky, and it’s hard to conform to what the herd is doing and take risks at the same time.
Sonia’s article was a big deal for me; I had a pretty strong emotional reaction to it. You see, I’ve been struggling for the past several years to create what I consider to be my dream business, and I haven’t had the kind of success I’ve wanted so far. As you can imagine, that’s been pretty frustrating. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what it is that I’m doing wrong and why things aren’t working the way I think they should be.
As I was reading the article, I realized what I’ve been doing wrong: I’ve been trying to build my business based on other people’s ideas of what was “normal”. I’ve been taking the advice of well-meaning friends and family and putting it into practice in my business. I’ve been obsessed with the idea of “credibility” and whether or not I have it. I’ve worried about what other people might be think of the things I write here and elsewhere.
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