I had big plans for tonight’s blog post. It was going to be amazing and life-changing for all of my readers. It was going to be the best blog post ever written. And then it happened: life.
I went straight from the office to a Master Mind meeting; when I got home, I realized it was my night to cook. After we ate, I sat down to blog, then got into a long conversation with my wife about her hectic day. When I got back, I realized two things: it was really late, and I still had a podcast episode to edit and post. Gah. So much for the world’s first perfect blog post.
As I was editing the podcast, though, I remembered one of the core concepts we’d discussed in this episode: what to do when your real life interrupts your work life. It’s an interesting question, and one that gets a lot of consideration. A lot of experts urge you to find this mythical place called “work-life balance” (if you ever find it, please send me the map). What I remembered was one of the things our guest, Dan Waldschmidt, had said: work-life balance is a pipe dream.
Face it folks: if you’re working hard on your business, chances are pretty good that other areas of your life (your relationships, your health, etc.) are going to suffer a little. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just the way it is when you only have 24 hours to get done what needs doing. We’re only human after all.
So I’m curious: what do you do when your personal life encroaches on your work life, or vice versa? What are your strategies for trying to achieve harmony in the different areas of your life? Let’s chat about that; who knows but that the comment you leave might be the key to someone else’s success, so don’t be stingy with the advice, OK?
And if you’re looking for a little additional inspiration, give that podcast episode a listen; it’s pretty good stuff. Thanks Dan.
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BEWARE: LONG POST.
I agree with you that work-life balance is a pipe dream, a myth. For me, the scales have tipped to the “life” side of the scale.
This is going to sound horrible, but what got “in the way” of my business is having kids. When planning our family, I seriously underestimated the mental and physical exhaustion caring for 3 kids would have on me. I read stories of WAHMs who were doing it all, successfully. Some were even single moms, homeschooling their kids. So I figured “If they can do it, I can do it.”
With my first and second child, it wasn’t too bad. I had a client where I would work on site a few days a week and a few other clients working from my home office. My kids went to daycare 5 days a week, so it all worked out OK.
But when our third child came not 3 years after the first, that’s when everything started to fall apart. Pregnant, running a household and running a business were burning me out.
The older 2 kids still went to daycare after our 3rd was born, but I had given up my onsite client. I was working while the baby would sleep, instead of taking a nap too.
My husband and I decided that sending 3 kids to daycare was not only expensive, but started and ended the day badly for everyone involved (i.e. the whole family).
Besides, the point of me working from home was so I could work AND raise our kids at the same time. Still looking to those work-at-home-supermoms for inspiration and encouragement, I thought I could do it with 3 kids at home. So when our youngest was 6 months old, we took the older 2 out of daycare to be home with me… That was January 2009.
My schedule was this: Wake up at 7:30am, care for the kids and household all day, sprinkled with a little work during quiet times. Supper, family time and bedtime routine from 5pm to 7pm. Work from 7pm to 11pm/12am/1am, sometimes later. By 7pm, though, my brain was fried. Not only that, I was overtired and not taking good care of myself. I was getting sick and was irritable, resentful of all the demands made on me during the day, taking me away from my business.
I kept reading about entrepreneurial moms who were doing it all, and wondered “Why can’t I do it?” I took this as a sign of weakness and failure on my part.
So, I made a decision that was very hard for me to make — I decided to take an unannounced break from all things business-related.
Yes, I still feel torn. I deal with guilt every day. I miss the satisfaction that comes from expressing my entrepreneurial ambitions. And YES, I miss the money… But seeing how time is just flying by with my kids, deep down inside I know I made the right choice.
I’m still looking for a way to do it all, though.
Maybe it’s just me sulking, but I seriously believe those work-at-home, homeschooling supermoms are not telling the whole story…
If anyone has the magic recipe to doing it all as a mom/entrepreneur, please share. I’ve been looking for years!
Sorry for the rant, but I know other moms are going through the same thing.
What To Do When Your Personal Life Interrupts Your Work Life…
So many people are seeking the legendary place called work-life balance. Bad news: there’s no such thing. What you want to find is harmony in the different areas of your life….
Cristina, I understand what you’re saying, feeling that maybe somebody’s not sharing the whole story. I also have doubts about anyone’s ability to operate a business while caring for multiple small kids. As you know, Sue and I both work from home, but there’s a difference right there: I’m here, too; it’s not just her. Also, we only have one little one, a 6-year-old, not 3 of them.
I just emailed the guys in my band (and the other band I was considering joining as well) and told them I’m going on hiatus. I need to play music almost as much as I need to eat, but I’m causing myself stress about it, when it’s supposed to be a stress reliever. The stress gets in the way of my life, and my work. I’ll play for fun, do it alone if I have to, but this has to stop.
Sue and I try to take a long drive once a month, to just talk and be together. We went four months without it, until two weeks ago we just took off at midnight and drove all night to see the sunrise in Mendocino. Spent the whole day driving down the coast, watched the sunset from Golden Gate Park, and made it home 24 hours after we left (and 42 hours without sleep.)
I have to be with my family; that comes first. I have to pay the bills, also not optional, but that comes second.
After that, if it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. I can whine and want and hurt myself trying, but it won’t change the fact that I need to live forever just to finish the stuff I’ve already started.
[...] to the mix of what you’re doing, something else is going to suffer. This goes back to the discussion about work/life balance from a couple of weeks ago. Remember: there is no such thing. Building or growing a business [...]