The Challenge of Being Attached to Outcomes

“You teach best what you most need to learn.” – Richard Bach

As I sat down to write today’s post, I found myself having to take a big heaping spoonful of my own medicine.  I didn’t like the way it tasted going down, but I know I’ll feel better for having taken it.  That’s the problem with sharing your ideas in such a public format: you leave yourself open to people calling you on your BS when you’re not applying your own wisdom.  I guess that’s not really a problem, though…probably more of a benefit since it keeps you in alignment with your own philosophy.

The scary (and kind of cool) part, though, is when you start to catch yourself in the act before someone else has to point it out to you.  That’s when you know you’re getting close to living your truth.

I’ve been having that experience more and more often.  Like today when I was driving home from the office.  I suddenly realized that I was in a funk (and had been for a couple of days) because I was trying to control the outcomes in my life (the things I can’t control) instead of focusing on the processes (the things I totally have control over).

I started to inventory the things I was frustrated with: the client who hasn’t paid an invoice that was due on the first of the month (it’s the 20th as I write this), the fact that I didn’t have a full house at an event I put on, the client who has verbally committed to a pretty big new deal but hasn’t put pen to paper and signed their agreement yet, the new client that keeps putting off our first meeting and making it impossible to get started on her project; you get the picture.  Sure enough, all of the things that were frustrating me were things that were out of my direct control; my clients controlled the outcome of each of those situations.

This didn’t mean I was powerless, though, because I also realized something else: that I can influence the outcome.  How?  By managing my own processes: being diligent with my follow up to make sure no deals slip through the cracks, improving the level of service and results I deliver so that my clients pay my invoices as soon as they get them for fear they’ll lose me as a partner,  inviting twice or three times as many people to the next event so that it’s standing room only.  Those are all things I can do, and they’re the very things that get neglected when I get caught up in trying to control the outcome instead of managing the process.

So as I write this post, I’m doing my best to release my attachment to any particular outcome.  When I wake up tomorrow morning, I’m going to focus on the things I have control of, put all my effort into performing those tasks, and leave the rest to sort itself out.  I’ll let you know how it turns out.