Calling All Members of the Choir: It’s My Un-Bio

Great: they asked me to write a bio for a new collaboration project I’m working on. I hate writing bios. No matter how hard I try, they always come out sounding plastic and fake and manufactured. So instead of writing a bio, I just wrote a bunch of stuff about me.  I know that sounds like a bio, but it’s not.  In fact, you could call it my Un-Bio.

And since I’ve been railing on in the last several posts about sharing who you are and what you believe in and why you do what you do, I decided to post my Un-Bio here, too.  Let me know what you think.  Or, better still, share your Un-Bio (or a link to it) in the comments.

1. I’m pretty opinionated. I don’t think that’s a bad thing; in fact, I embrace it. Really. I even include it in my bio sometimes, usually preceded by the word “outrageously”. And if you don’t believe me, just ask my friends what I think of James Cameron’s “movies”, or anyone who’s ever met me what I think of Bob Dylan’s “music” (I don’t know how, but it always seems to come up in conversation…genius my ass).

2. I love ideas. I think ideas are what make life fun. I love having ideas, and I love sharing them even more (see #1). I love hearing other people’s ideas, too, especially the brilliant ones. I love it when my ideas have sex with other people’s ideas (you can blame Matt Ridley for giving me that phrase to play with), and my ideas are pretty promiscuous. They also refuse to practice safe sex, so don’t be surprised if our ideas get together, have loads of idea sex, and spawn lots of tiny new baby ideas.

3. I sing karaoke every chance I get, which actually isn’t all that often. That’s probably a good thing, since I don’t really sing that well. I also play golf every chance I get, which is even less often than karaoke, so what I actually do is less like golf and more like drinking beer and swearing at my clubs.

4. I love pop music. Get over it. I don’t care if you think it’s lame or if you believe the people who make it are sell-outs. Feel free to listen to your indie/emo/techno/screamo/trip-hop/whateverthehell noise in your basement with your friends, and leave the radio airwaves free for more Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson and Bob Marley and Muse (even the stuff they did for Twilight) and Metallica. The rest of us like it.

5. If I’m putting it in my mouth, it had better taste good. No “challenging” food flavors for me (seriously…unagi is not food: it’s chum). The same goes for beer. Keep it simple: cold, refreshing, and tasty, NOT warm, thick and bitter. Ever. Thanks.

6. I believe that knowledge is power, and I believe that every human being on the planet has not only the right but the responsibility to improve his or her mind through the acquisition of knowledge. I believe people should read more, and by people I mean you. I don’t care if you like it or not; reading is the BEST way to add to your knowledge. Learn to love it, or clear the way for those who do.

7. I love technology. Let me rephrase that: I’m a nerd. I geek out over cool new gadgets and toys, with one glaring exception: I have no love for Apple. Sorry…I just don’t get it. And I’m not interested in hearing why I should, either; I’m totally OK with my Blackberry. Save your rant for someone else, have another sip of the Kool-Aid, and get back to figuring out how to hold your iPhone so that you can make a call.

8. I don’t want followers. Followers freak me out. I trust you to make your own decisions with or without me. I want friends, peers, cohorts, and partners in creation. I want to be surrounded by people to share ideas with (see #2), people who give as much (or more) than they take. Please don’t just read my stuff; respond to it. If you disagree, say so. If you agree, add to the discussion. And if you don’t tell me about it, tell someone else. The world needs more conversation!

Now, wasn’t that better than a bio?  I’m looking forward to reading yours!