You know what a BHAG is, right? It’s an acronym for Big Hairy Audacious Goal, and if you have any, you know they can be scary. In fact, BHAGs are all about setting your sights on something that really scares the piss out of you.

The first definition I could find for “audacious” was “extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless”; I like that. It conjures images of people running into burning towers to save the lives of complete strangers, and risking (or losing) their own lives in the process. It’s a noble attribute that we all aspire to but that very few of us ever have the opportunity to test; I don’t think it’s the definition I’d use to describe a goal. After all, just because the goal is big and hairy and makes your knees knock land your heart skip beats doesn’t mean you have to pursue it recklessly.

I like this definition better: “recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; brazen.” Or even this one: “lively; unrestrained; uninhibited”. I think that captures the spirit of a BHAG: you’re doing something that flies in the face of your norm, something in defiance of the conventions and limitations of your current life situation, something that your family members or friends might consider insolent or brazen, something uninhibited; in short, something all you. BHAGs are about speaking and living your truth.

But how do you pursue a Big Hairy Audacious Goal, well, audaciously? After all, audacity isn’t a quality that’s encouraged in our society; in fact, audacious children are scolded, disciplined and medicated in an effort to get them to “just behave”. And it’s no different when they leave school and go off to work: audacity and middle management are blood enemies. So how do we learn to behave audaciously again?

It’s simple, really: do something that scares you. Don’t think about it…just do it. Start with something small and work your way up. Don’t ignore the fear you feel; don’t fight it or judge it as bad. Feel the fear, then do it anyways.

You’ll be amazed at how taking simple, small, audacious action on a regular basis (daily, if possible) will change you. Right now, go make a list of the things that scare you: put everything on it, the large and the small, the things that terrify you and the things that just make you sweat a little. Pick one of the not so scary things, and make it happen this week, today if you can (and you can…it’s just your fear that wants you to schedule it for Friday at noon).

And make your commitment to do it even stronger by leaving a comment on this post; if you commit to it in a public forum like this, the chances that you’ll actually do it will be much greater. When you’ve done it, be sure to come back and share that, too. Your story might be just the thing that will push someone out of a life of timidity and into a life of bold, daring, audacious action.

Well hello there; it’s been a while, hasn’t it. Don’t worry, though: I’m not going to bore you with the details this time. I’ve just been off hibernating. Ruminating. Percolating. Meditating.

The Foo Fighters have always been a favorite band of mine and their new song “Walk” (the video above) takes it to a whole new level. It’s a fantastic song on a lot of levels, but more than anything it’s the lyrics; they really hit home right now. I am, indeed, learning to walk again. I’ve certainly waited long enough. So…where do I begin?

Everything is moving. My business is steadily growing, I’m working on a couple of joint ventures that look promising, and I have a project in the works that’s looking to be incredibly fun and exciting. At the same time, I’m getting acquainted with being single for the first time in a long time. And I’m performing again.

Relationships are changing, work is changing, play is changing. And I’m definitely changing: more relaxed, more productive, in the flow, watching the unfolding of my life instead of trying to control the outcome. Letting go of my need to be in control.

Personal evolution is a funny thing; it’s only when you stop trying to evolve that it finally happens. It happens when you start showing up, appreciating the present moment, and detaching from the need to know how things are going to turn out. It happens when you stop worrying what other people are going to think and start speaking and living your truth.

I think T.S. Eliot was right:

“We shall not cease from exploration,
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

This place certainly looks familiar…but also different. It must be the new eyes.

Yesterday I promised to reveal the question that has transformed my life and taken me from playing small to playing larger than I ever have, from showing up as the janitor to embracing my inner rock star and finally, finally starting to live on purpose. But before I do, let me tell you a little about the events leading up to this discovery and how taking some of these steps can help you to finally quiet those voices in your head that keep telling you that you’re not good enough.

I’d been up visiting family in Oregon for my niece’s graduation. On the way home, we decided to stop overnight in the little town where I grew up, Cave Junction, Oregon (go ahead, Google it…you’ll be stunned). We spent Sunday night at my uncle’s house, and Monday morning we decided to putter around town for a few hours before heading back home to Sacramento.

It had been a long, long time, like a couple of decades, since I’d spent any significant time in CJ (that’s what we locals call it). I’d been back in my adult life for three occassions: the funerals of my grandparents, the funeral of my cousin, Steven, and the wedding of my niece, Kristy. Each of those trips had been accomplished, round trip from Sacramento, in a single day. Meaning in and out, no time for sight-seeing. This time was different; no one was in a hurry, and we just wandered around a bit.

And then it happened: I said I wanted to go to my old elementary school and take a picture and, as soon as I set foot on that hallowed ground, I started shaking and getting choked up, then crying. It made no sense. There I was, a grown man, standing in front of this timy little school and weeping. Ummm…WTF?

My brother Kevin had jumped out of the car with me and he suggested that we take a walk around the school grounds and see what happened. As I was walking through the halls and out on the playground, I felt like I was wrestling with a ghost. I heard all the voices of all the kids calling me “nerd” and “four-eyes” and making fun of my hand-me-down clothes. I remembered what it felt like to never quite fit in because I’d been moved up from first to second grade in the first few weeks of school because I could already read at fourth-grade level.

And it hit me: this is exactly where I learned to feel “less than”. To feel inferior. To not like myself. It was a scene that would be repeated throughout my school days, right up until I decided in high school that I’d rather be liked than be smart, and started to pretend so that I could fit in.

In that moment, a lot of questions got answered. Like why I’ve been sabotaging myself for so long. Like why I seem to be determined to prove my negative, self-destructive beliefs right by behaving in a way that supports them. Like why I’ve been acting like…well…like a big weenie for so long.

The drive home was intense. I sat quietly, staring out the window. I think my folks thought that maybe I’d had some kind of psychoyic episode or break with reality. But I was just thinking. Thinking of all the ways that I’d been letting a bunch of second-graders hold me back in my life. Thinking of all the times I’d let their voices win the debate. And realizing that it was finally all over, that I was done with it, that I’d left that ghost back on that playground.

It was a couple of days later and a few tons of emotional baggage lighter when I first discovered the most powerful question question. I’d just finished a conversation with a close friend, someone who’d proved to me the meaning of friendship and stuck by me through some pretty dark days.

As I hung up the phone, I asked myself, “Now, would someone as amazing as that really want to be my friend and stand by me through times like this if I’m really the piece of shit I try to convince myself I am?”

I was literally shocked into silence. Even the chatter in my brain stopped for a full beat as I processed the question. So I asked it again, this time demanding an answer from myself. Silence still. I had no answer, other than the obvious one. So I didn’t stop; I kept asking. “And what about _____? Would he like you if you were such a wretched human being? And _______? Would she always call to check in on you if you were all that bad?”

And so for the last ten days I’ve been playing this game; every time someone demonstrates friendship or kindness toward me, I ask myself, “Now would they have done that if you’re really the bottom-feeder you think you are?”

And, of course, the answer is always the same: no. I must not be, because I really respect that person, and I don’t want to make them wrong just so I can be right. Now, more than ever, I want to earn their belief in me by letting myself show up as the rock star they think I am.

So here’s what I want you to do: if you did your homework yesterday, you should have a list of people who really dig you. It might not be a long list to start with; hell, mine only had one name on it at the beginning. It will get longer as you start to pay attention. Got your list? Start asking yourself the question: “If I’m really the piece of shit I believe myself to be, would ________ really like me and want to be my friend?”

And here’s the tricky bit: when you start to doubt yourself and beat yourself up and act like a weenie, you have to stop and ask yourself the question. And answer it honestly. And start to pay attention to all the people who love you and believe in you. Trust me, it’s way more fun and, in the end, far more satisfying.

So now that you know the secret, how will you use the most powerful question in the universe? Be sure to share your strategies and successes in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!

You know how sometimes a person pulls a Thoreau and wanders off into the woods to do a little soul-searching, then when they come back all they want to talk about is all the existential shit they discovered while they were off with the trees, but all you really want to talk about is what a bitch Becky at work is being? Yeah, it’s gonna be one of those posts.

You see, while I haven’t been off “finding myself” in the woods, the place I was wandering was almost as scary. I’ve been on walkabout in my own head, and let me tell you: it’s no walk in Central Park in there. Unless we’re talking about the scene in that Roy Scheider/Meryl Streep flick “Still of the Night” where the crazy killer lady is just on the other side of that tunnel waiting to kill someone; it’s kind of like that Central Park.

And what did I find on this dark and dangerous excursion? As corny as it sounds, I think I finally found my self-worth.

Look, you and I have entered into a kind of unspoken arrangement: you come here because you like the things I say or because what I talk about resonates with you (thank you for that!), and I come here because I’ve realized that openness and honesty are the first steps on my road to redemption. On your side of the unspoken agreement, you’ve concurred that if you like what you read you’ll come back again, maybe leave a comment, maybe tell a friend or two, and help grow this community of rebels and non-conformists. On my side, I’ve agreed to share it all, no matter how messy, in the hope that something I say or do will be just the thing you needed to see or hear today.

A couple of months ago, that got a little edgy. Believe it or not, tomorrow will mark the two month anniversary of me going all Juliet on this blog. In some ways, it seems like an eternity has passed; in others, like it just happened yesterday. So much has changed that it hardly seems possible. There have been ups and downs, of course, and even a time or two when I came really close to plugging back in to the matrix.

And still, I wouldn’t trade a single minute of it. Or of the life I had before this, for that matter. It was all part of the fabric that represents the life I have now, and changing one thread would change the whole thing.

To those of you who used to come to this blog for business advice, I’m sorry; I know it’s been a while since there was anything really business related here. I’ll be returning to more of that, now that some of the demons have been dealt with and I can think again. I’m even toying with the idea of setting up a separate RSS feed with only business related topics. If you’d like to see that, leave me a comment below and I’ll make sure it happens.

And to those of you who’ve been on the sidelines, reading all the bloody, messy, gritty posts and cheering me on toward the finish line, I can only offer my humblest, sincerest thanks. You may not be aware of it, but it’s all of you who’ve seen me safely to the other side. You’ve helped me answer the most powerful question I’ve ever asked myself in a way that has brought me back into myself, reconnected some pieces of me that have been disconnected for a long, long time, and given me the perspective that I needed to get to the next level of my personal evolution.

And just what is that magical question, you ask?

Stay tuned. I’ll write about it next. And soon…I promise. While you’re waiting, though, there’s something you can do to prepare for it. I want you to start looking around you and taking note of all the people who love you, all the people who think you’re special, all the people who put faith in you even when you don’t think you deserve it. I promise they are out there; you just have to start looking for them.

Neil Senturia is not your typical…well, he’s not your typical anything, at least as far as I can tell from his new book I’m There for You, Baby – The Entrepreneur’s Guide to the Galaxy, Volume 1 (WARNING: affiliate link).  What I can tell you for certain, though, is that Mr. Senturia knows how to tell a story.

I haven’t had this much fun reading a book since I was a kid reading They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They? by Patrick McManus (yep, another affiliate link…sorry, but it’s just easier than logging out of Amazon).  I don’t often laugh out loud when I read business books, but this one had me chuckling, snickering and, occasionally, guffawing (I may have just made that word up…sorry about that).  Even better, I learned a thing or two along the way.

The book is a series of stories built around The Baby Rules, a set of entrepreneurial truisms culled from Senturia’s experiences as a real estate mogul, venture capitalist, Hollywood writer and all around deal-making addict.  But don’t make the mistake of believing everything you read; Rule #109 states “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.”  Senturia’s grasp of the ridiculous, his razor-sharp wit, and his blunt-force-trauma style of truth-telling make for a great read.

One of my favorite lessons, and one that made me stop and think about my own journey, is Rule #19: “Entrepreneurs do not do it for the fame or fortune – they do it for revenge.”   I’ve been thinking about that one ever since I read it; it’s been dogging my steps, haunting my sleep, and generally driving me nuts for weeks.

Because I’m realizing how true it is, at least sometimes.  I find myself driven, sometimes to extreme measures, by a deep desire to prove that I can do it, no matter what anyone says.  The voices in my head, the ones that belong to former teachers and family members and well-meaning friends, telling me to settle down and settle in and settle?  I’ve got a middle finger that would like to speak with you.

And that’s the kind of festering truth that I’m There for You, Baby rips the scab off of.

Thank you, Neil Senturia, for a fantastic book.  And thank you for breaking some shit in my head that needed breaking. Consider me a fan.

Yikes! Glad it wasn't something fragile!

I received this package at my mailbox the other day.  It looked like it had been dropped out of a truck in the rain and run over a couple of times.  Fortunately, the book contained in the package was relatively unharmed.

But you’ll be pleased to know that this isn’t a rant against the fact that the US Postal Service mangled my package; I actually used to be a mail carrier, and I know these things happen from time to time.  No big deal.

What bothered me, though, was the wrapping that the package in question arrived in.  It had what I can only assume is the USPS version of an apology printed on it.  Here, have a look:

Oh, I see...the mangled package was MY fault!

If you want to read the full text of the “apology”, click on the picture and you’ll get to see an enlarged version…then come back here for the rest of the story.

Did you catch that?  The “apology” starts off nicely enough, then immediately shifts into explaining why, in reality, it wasn’t really their fault.  After all, they reason, they handle an awful lot of mail.  They even managed to make me feel a little guilty about irresponsible packaging and the damage my offending package might have caused to their machinery and other pieces of mail.  Then I remembered: I had nothing to do with the packaging.  I was the recipient, an innocent victim of mail mutilation.

It isn’t just the Postal Service that tries this kind of maneuvering to avoid responsibility for their actions, though.  Think of all the times you’ve had a company rep or a customer service agent make you feel responsible for the poor service that they were delivering.

So here’s the question: are you doing the same thing to your clients?  Stop and think about that for a minute.  Have you ever, in an effort to avoid responsibility for a problem, spun it around so the customer was the bad guy?  It’s tempting, isn’t it?

There’s a problem with that kind of thinking, though: the customer knows it’s not his/her fault, and will resent you making that implication.  Think of the damage that causes to your relationships with your customers.  Instead, why not just offer a sincere apology and fix the problem?

Or don’t.  It’s up to you.  Just know that blaming your customers for problems with your service will eventually lead to a different kind of problem: no customers.  That is, unless you’re the US Postal Service…

In Part 1 we talked about Law #1: The Law of Value and proposed that there are five primary categories: Excellence, Consistency, Attention, Empathy and Appreciation, that you can use to increase the value you deliver to your clients and customers. (These are covered more in-depth in “Go-Givers Sell More”, Bob Burg’s and John David Mann’s second installment in the series, although that’s getting a little ahead of ourselves.) The main point is that we discovered giving doesn’t necessarily mean giving away for free.

The second Law, the Law of Compensation, states; “your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them”.

In January I had the privilege of attending Bob Burg’s Big Event 2011, with speakers such as Dr. John Maxwell, Les Brown, Carrie Wilkerson, Randy Gage, and Paul Martinelli and came away with a new appreciation for the seminar format. I’ve been to quite a few seminars, mostly motivational in nature, and I always left all fired up and ready to take on the world – for about 72 hours. Then for the following week I would have that adrenaline letdown, like you get after a minor fender-bender. You may have experienced the same thing. This time was quite different, though.

The six speakers, and all the sponsors, applied the Law of Compensation so expertly that a week later I’m still going strong. AND I’m a Personal Walking Ambassador for each of them, and a customer, for life. Why? Because I came away with so much Value that I’ll be nurturing the ideas and connections for a long, long time. I came away feeling I could put into action one idea from each of the speakers. Most importantly, I came away feeling that I can do it too.

I’m a big proponent of one-on-one coaching, it’s my primary business model, and I’ve seen some amazing things happen because of the focus it provides. But I can only do so much in the 24 hours we are all blessed with. I can only help a limited number of people. From an income standpoint I’m limited by that single factor. My goal now is to pattern the six amazingly talented speakers that served nearly 300 of my (now) closest friends during the two-day event; Consistently serve a large group of people by adding value to their lives.

I now feel the Law of Compensation is quite possibly the single most powerful of the Five Laws because once it’s applied it opens up endless possibilities. Endless possibilities because you get to choose. You choose how many people’s lives you touch. You get to choose how much time you and effort you spend adding value to those people. You get to choose how much you earn from that effort. YOU. CHOOSE.

Give the Law of Compensation some thought and then leave a comment below to let me know what possibilities you have opened up. If you could touch the lives of 10 more people with your product or service what would that mean to you? If you touch 1,000s of lives what would that look like? If you serve millions of people, enriching their lives in a way that adds value, what would that do for you? I can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

In the next post we’ll dig into the meaning of “Networking” with Law #3: The Law of Influence.

This is the second in a series of Articles I wrote for TLT Magazine back in 2009. I still believe that making the commitment to give up the news is one of the most important decisions you can make to stay motivated and on task. Check it out and let me know what you think in the comments.

And don’t forget to snag your free copy of “Motivation 101: Five Steps To Activate Your Potential In Any Economy” while your at it.

No News Is Good News

Are you as tired as I am of all the bad news being offered up by the national media? If so, please join me in a special campaign this week. I’m officially designating it National News Free Week.

This is the critical second step in staying motivated to accomplish your goals: the ability to stay focused and avoid distraction!  So I’m issuing a challenge to as many people as I can reach to turn off the news for one solid week. That’s right: no TV, radio or internet news for seven full days.

“But Jerry!” you ask, “How will I know what’s going on in the world?”

Good question, and the answer may shock you. Listen closely: it doesn’t matter! Yes, you read that right…it just doesn’t matter what’s happening in the world around you. The only thing that truly matters is what’s happening in the world inside of you.

I wonder how many people realize that by obsessing about which corporations are filing for bankruptcy this week and what the Dow is doing this minute, they are actually giving up the only power they have: the power to direct their own thoughts and actions. They are allowing the circumstances of the world around them to dictate their actions. What an incredibly dangerous way to live!

And yet, that’s how the vast majority of people structure their lives. They decide how they’ll act and what they’ll think based on what they see and hear going on around them instead of listening to the voice inside of them that tells them what they should be doing.

What does this have to do with sales and motivation? Just this: if you have been sucked into all the drama, I can almost guarantee that it’s had a negative impact on your sales activity. It has de-motivated you. Honestly, how motivated do you feel to get up early and stay out late when the news is convincing you that no one has any money to spend anyways?

So this is a call to action! Starting at 12:01 am on the day you read this, turn off the news and don’t turn it back on until 11:59 pm seven days later (the really adventurous might want to make it all TV, but that’s up to you). In place of the news, read a good book or watch an inspiring video or sales podcast that will motivate you to get into activity mode. If something really important happens in the world, I promise that you’ll hear about it.

This one act is going to help you take your power back. Instead of feeling like a victim of the economic crisis, you’ll begin to realize that you have the privilege, as a small business owner, entrepreneur or salesperson, of being a part of the solution to said crisis! You’ve heard that nothing happens until something gets sold, and that’s never been more true than it is now. We need to restore the confidence of the average consumer to resume consuming. If we don’t, who will?

Do I mean to say that you should be out selling things to people that they don’t need or can’t afford? Absolutely not! That kind of behavior has been one of the big causes of the current situation. At the same time, you need to be working hard to match up your products and services to your customers’ needs and help them to realize that it’s okay to buy!

Are you with me? If so, pass this challenge along to everyone in your network and let’s make this week the most productive one so far this year.

I look forward to hearing your feedback and, hopefully, your success stories as well. Leave a comment and until next time, happy sales to you!

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If you’d like to learn more about how to stay motivated as we go through the ups and downs of coming out of a recession, sign up for the Motivation 101 newsletter and receive your free copy of the “Motivation 101: Five Steps To Activate Your Potential In Any Economy” audio training program and workbook, no strings attached.  Click here for more details on this limited-time offer, and enjoy the program!

The biggest reward of using the “The Go-Giver” as one of our Bob Burg International Consultant coaching programs is that not only do I get to read the book, I get to devour it (while being mentored by the author), and then I’m priveleged to share it with others. There is true power in knowing your craft well enough to teach it to others.

In a short 30 minute chat with Jerry Kennedy on his Blog Whisperer Radio program it has solidified my belief that business as we’ve known it for the last two decades (more or less, your mileage may vary) is so antiquated that to continue “as it’s always been” is maybe the most deadly thing you can do to your business.

If your business has stagnated over the last 12 months, if it’s slowed down to “just getting by”, or if you have serious concerns if you’ll be in business 12 months from now you can cheer up! Pick up the book and follow along as we discover and APPLY these “Five Laws of Stratospheric Success”.

The first Law, The Law of Value states; “Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value that you take in payment”.

You may have heard the phrase giving value misused by the Internet Marketing gurus telling you to give away your “secret sauce” to entice your prospects to buy your product or service. This misses the mark in two ways. 1) As used in the book, giving does not mean giving away – as in free. It simply means to present something, in this case value. 2) value in this context means the relative worth or desirability of a thing to the end user. More to the point it’s about asking yourself the question; “What can I offer that will set me apart – and I mean WAAAAY apart – from my competition and will allow people to want me as the person they choose to do business with?

The answer starts to become apparent in a great blog post by Bob Burg. It says, “…while there are most likely thousands of ways to provide value, they tend to fall under five categories: Excellence, Consistency, Attention, Empathy and Appreciation.”

Near and dear to my heart is appreciation. This is one of the things that cost little or nothing and leaves a lasting impression. Say please and thank you (and mean it). Send Nice to meet you notes – not emails – in a greeting card in your own handwriting. Remember birthdays and, you guessed, it send a card that says Happy Birthday! (If you don’t have a simple and easy-to-use system to do this automatically email me and I’ll share my fun and inexpensive way to do it with you.)

Now that you know that there are five categories that value tends to fall under, how can you take that and apply it to your product and service? Leave your comments in the feedback below. I’d love to here them!

Here’s a good place to mention one of the most important keys to making this law work, and it may be a deal breaker if you can’t commit to it, it’s that you have to give without any emotional attachment to the outcome. Now I know that’s going to sound really wacky to you but that’s how it works… because there is an outcome every time.

Tune in next time for Law #2 “The Law of Compensation”.

“If we’re going to take this walk together, we need to start by facing the same direction.” –Pindar,
The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann

As I was reading Chapter 2 in “The Go-Giver“, reviewing the material for one of my Mastermind Groups, I thought “Hey, you didn’t make sure everyone is facing the same direction!” Here’s why it’s important.

Imagine you and and I are standing at a cross-roads. I’m facing North and you’re facing West. I tell you we’re going to take a six month journey and say “Let’s go”. Do you think, after taking the road in front of us for that amount of time, we’d end up in the same location? Nope, not a chance.

We need the same map to arrive at the same destination. Simply put, the book is the map, the directions are each of the “Five Stratospheric Laws”, but they require a secret key to unlock their power.

That secret is “Giving”.

What does “giving” mean to you? Let me know in the comments below.