Yesterday I promised to reveal the question that has transformed my life and taken me from playing small to playing larger than I ever have, from showing up as the janitor to embracing my inner rock star and finally, finally starting to live on purpose. But before I do, let me tell you a little about the events leading up to this discovery and how taking some of these steps can help you to finally quiet those voices in your head that keep telling you that you’re not good enough.

I’d been up visiting family in Oregon for my niece’s graduation. On the way home, we decided to stop overnight in the little town where I grew up, Cave Junction, Oregon (go ahead, Google it…you’ll be stunned). We spent Sunday night at my uncle’s house, and Monday morning we decided to putter around town for a few hours before heading back home to Sacramento.

It had been a long, long time, like a couple of decades, since I’d spent any significant time in CJ (that’s what we locals call it). I’d been back in my adult life for three occassions: the funerals of my grandparents, the funeral of my cousin, Steven, and the wedding of my niece, Kristy. Each of those trips had been accomplished, round trip from Sacramento, in a single day. Meaning in and out, no time for sight-seeing. This time was different; no one was in a hurry, and we just wandered around a bit.

And then it happened: I said I wanted to go to my old elementary school and take a picture and, as soon as I set foot on that hallowed ground, I started shaking and getting choked up, then crying. It made no sense. There I was, a grown man, standing in front of this timy little school and weeping. Ummm…WTF?

My brother Kevin had jumped out of the car with me and he suggested that we take a walk around the school grounds and see what happened. As I was walking through the halls and out on the playground, I felt like I was wrestling with a ghost. I heard all the voices of all the kids calling me “nerd” and “four-eyes” and making fun of my hand-me-down clothes. I remembered what it felt like to never quite fit in because I’d been moved up from first to second grade in the first few weeks of school because I could already read at fourth-grade level.

And it hit me: this is exactly where I learned to feel “less than”. To feel inferior. To not like myself. It was a scene that would be repeated throughout my school days, right up until I decided in high school that I’d rather be liked than be smart, and started to pretend so that I could fit in.

In that moment, a lot of questions got answered. Like why I’ve been sabotaging myself for so long. Like why I seem to be determined to prove my negative, self-destructive beliefs right by behaving in a way that supports them. Like why I’ve been acting like…well…like a big weenie for so long.

The drive home was intense. I sat quietly, staring out the window. I think my folks thought that maybe I’d had some kind of psychoyic episode or break with reality. But I was just thinking. Thinking of all the ways that I’d been letting a bunch of second-graders hold me back in my life. Thinking of all the times I’d let their voices win the debate. And realizing that it was finally all over, that I was done with it, that I’d left that ghost back on that playground.

It was a couple of days later and a few tons of emotional baggage lighter when I first discovered the most powerful question question. I’d just finished a conversation with a close friend, someone who’d proved to me the meaning of friendship and stuck by me through some pretty dark days.

As I hung up the phone, I asked myself, “Now, would someone as amazing as that really want to be my friend and stand by me through times like this if I’m really the piece of shit I try to convince myself I am?”

I was literally shocked into silence. Even the chatter in my brain stopped for a full beat as I processed the question. So I asked it again, this time demanding an answer from myself. Silence still. I had no answer, other than the obvious one. So I didn’t stop; I kept asking. “And what about _____? Would he like you if you were such a wretched human being? And _______? Would she always call to check in on you if you were all that bad?”

And so for the last ten days I’ve been playing this game; every time someone demonstrates friendship or kindness toward me, I ask myself, “Now would they have done that if you’re really the bottom-feeder you think you are?”

And, of course, the answer is always the same: no. I must not be, because I really respect that person, and I don’t want to make them wrong just so I can be right. Now, more than ever, I want to earn their belief in me by letting myself show up as the rock star they think I am.

So here’s what I want you to do: if you did your homework yesterday, you should have a list of people who really dig you. It might not be a long list to start with; hell, mine only had one name on it at the beginning. It will get longer as you start to pay attention. Got your list? Start asking yourself the question: “If I’m really the piece of shit I believe myself to be, would ________ really like me and want to be my friend?”

And here’s the tricky bit: when you start to doubt yourself and beat yourself up and act like a weenie, you have to stop and ask yourself the question. And answer it honestly. And start to pay attention to all the people who love you and believe in you. Trust me, it’s way more fun and, in the end, far more satisfying.

So now that you know the secret, how will you use the most powerful question in the universe? Be sure to share your strategies and successes in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!

I know, I know…I’ve been a little light on blog posts for the past few weeks (as in I haven’t written any). I’ll get back in the swing soon, I promise. In the meantime, here’s something for your listening pleasure: an episode of my Blog Talk Radio program about Steven Pressfield’s new book “Do the Work” (which is brilliant, by the way…if you haven’t read it, go get your copy now!)

I’d love to hear what you think…leave me a comment. Thanks!

This is the second in a series of Articles I wrote for TLT Magazine back in 2009. I still believe that making the commitment to give up the news is one of the most important decisions you can make to stay motivated and on task. Check it out and let me know what you think in the comments.

And don’t forget to snag your free copy of “Motivation 101: Five Steps To Activate Your Potential In Any Economy” while your at it.

No News Is Good News

Are you as tired as I am of all the bad news being offered up by the national media? If so, please join me in a special campaign this week. I’m officially designating it National News Free Week.

This is the critical second step in staying motivated to accomplish your goals: the ability to stay focused and avoid distraction!  So I’m issuing a challenge to as many people as I can reach to turn off the news for one solid week. That’s right: no TV, radio or internet news for seven full days.

“But Jerry!” you ask, “How will I know what’s going on in the world?”

Good question, and the answer may shock you. Listen closely: it doesn’t matter! Yes, you read that right…it just doesn’t matter what’s happening in the world around you. The only thing that truly matters is what’s happening in the world inside of you.

I wonder how many people realize that by obsessing about which corporations are filing for bankruptcy this week and what the Dow is doing this minute, they are actually giving up the only power they have: the power to direct their own thoughts and actions. They are allowing the circumstances of the world around them to dictate their actions. What an incredibly dangerous way to live!

And yet, that’s how the vast majority of people structure their lives. They decide how they’ll act and what they’ll think based on what they see and hear going on around them instead of listening to the voice inside of them that tells them what they should be doing.

What does this have to do with sales and motivation? Just this: if you have been sucked into all the drama, I can almost guarantee that it’s had a negative impact on your sales activity. It has de-motivated you. Honestly, how motivated do you feel to get up early and stay out late when the news is convincing you that no one has any money to spend anyways?

So this is a call to action! Starting at 12:01 am on the day you read this, turn off the news and don’t turn it back on until 11:59 pm seven days later (the really adventurous might want to make it all TV, but that’s up to you). In place of the news, read a good book or watch an inspiring video or sales podcast that will motivate you to get into activity mode. If something really important happens in the world, I promise that you’ll hear about it.

This one act is going to help you take your power back. Instead of feeling like a victim of the economic crisis, you’ll begin to realize that you have the privilege, as a small business owner, entrepreneur or salesperson, of being a part of the solution to said crisis! You’ve heard that nothing happens until something gets sold, and that’s never been more true than it is now. We need to restore the confidence of the average consumer to resume consuming. If we don’t, who will?

Do I mean to say that you should be out selling things to people that they don’t need or can’t afford? Absolutely not! That kind of behavior has been one of the big causes of the current situation. At the same time, you need to be working hard to match up your products and services to your customers’ needs and help them to realize that it’s okay to buy!

Are you with me? If so, pass this challenge along to everyone in your network and let’s make this week the most productive one so far this year.

I look forward to hearing your feedback and, hopefully, your success stories as well. Leave a comment and until next time, happy sales to you!

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If you’d like to learn more about how to stay motivated as we go through the ups and downs of coming out of a recession, sign up for the Motivation 101 newsletter and receive your free copy of the “Motivation 101: Five Steps To Activate Your Potential In Any Economy” audio training program and workbook, no strings attached.  Click here for more details on this limited-time offer, and enjoy the program!

Since I’m giving away free copies of my Motivation 101 audio program to anyone who signs up for the Motivation 101 newsletter, I decided to dust off a series of articles about the topic of motivation that I wrote for TLT Magazine around the time that the program was originally released.

Here’s the first article in the series; please let me know how asking “Why?” has helped you achieve your goals in the comments.  Thanks for reading!

When It Comes to Goals, Ask “Why?”, Not “How?”

If you’re like most selling professionals, you’ve probably got a list of written goals…somewhere.  Some of you have them tacked to the wall in front of your desk, others in your day planners or PDAs; some of you have them filed away in the bottom of a drawer and would have trouble finding them if asked.  Regardless of where you have your list of goals, though, you’ve already accomplished something major: you’ve engaged a powerful ally in your success by writing them down.

What ally?  The simple act of writing something down plants the seed of action in your unconscious mind, letting it know that this goal is something it should be working to achieve for you.  The unconscious mind is such an incredibly powerful machine, it will work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, to accomplish the intention you’ve set for it.  Once engaged, it knows no limitations.

Oftentimes, though, the next thing we do in our goal-setting process disables this ally: we start to ask “How?”, as in “How am I going to do it?”  This question, while it seems logical, can be one of the most dis-empowering questions you can ask yourself.  Why?  Well, instead of focusing on the accomplishment of your goal, now you are focused on the details of getting it done.  If it’s a BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal) we’re talking about, the “How?” can seem overwhelming.  You don’t know where to start and, as a result, you don’t start.

So what’s the answer?  Ask a better question.  Instead of asking “How?”, ask “Why?”, as in “Why do I want to accomplish this particular thing?”  ”Why?” is a much more powerful question for engaging the power of your unconscious mind because it has the power to create an emotional connection to the goal.  How does this work?

It’s simple, really.  Just sit down with your list of goals and pick the most compelling one, the one that gets you the most excited, then start asking yourself “Why do I want to accomplish this goal?”  Write down whatever answer comes to your mind.  Next, continue to ask yourself “Why?” until you get to an answer that starts with the phrase “…because it would make me feel…”

Next, rewrite your goal in the present tense and include your new “Why?” statement.  Spend some time every morning and every evening reviewing your newly written goals.  This addition of a compelling emotional component to your goals will engage the power of your unconscious mind to an incredible degree.  Once on board, this part of your mind will work non-stop, even while you’re sleeping, to move you closer to the accomplishment of your goals.

Asking “Why?” is only the first step in the process, though.  A future post will discuss the second step, the need to stay focused in order to succeed.

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If you’d like to learn more about how to stay motivated despite the tough economic situation facing the world, sign up for the Motivation 101 newsletter and receive your free copy of the “Motivation 101: Five Steps To Activate Your Potential In Any Economy” audio training program and workbook, no strings attached.  Click here for more details on this limited-time offer, and enjoy the program!

For weeks now, all I’ve been hearing is people talking about how they can’t wait for 2010 to be over and a brand new year to begin.  In fact, I joined in that chorus a time or two.  No doubt, 2010 was a rough year.

But it’s over now.

We’re officially three days in to 2011, and from the looks of things, it has the potential to be a truly amazing year.  Personally, I’m excited to be kicking things off in style with the International Consumer Electronics Show this week in Las Vegas, NV.  This will be my first CES, and I can’t wait to get there.

It also rocks because I’ll be making the trip to Vegas with my friend and fellow blogger, Ryan Snethen.  Ryan is a very cool cat who knows his music and movies, and the more obscure, the better.  His “Did You Miss It?” blog is chock-full of movies you might have missed.  He’s also a writer and an entrepreneur.  We’re making the 10-hour trip by car, so we’ll have lots of time to brainstorm new ideas.  Can’t wait!

Which brings up the topic of road trips.  A couple of recent road trips reminded me of two things: a) I love taking road trips and b) I don’t take enough of them.  I’m changing that this year; more road trips are a must.

Johnny B. Truant also got me thinking today, which is a bad habit of his.  He wrote a post called “Resolutions Suck. Try Anarchy.” that got me thinking all about WHY I want to do the things I want to do, and whether they’re really worthy goals, and whether I’m up to the challenge of seeing them through.  Great stuff.  If you’re not reading Johnny’s blog, start now…even if the posts are a little longish.

2011 has the potential to be a kick-ass year, no doubt about it.  But we can’t assume that it’s going to magically turn out that way just because the calendar rolled over and 2010 is finished.

You’re going to have to put forth some effort if you want to see those results; in fact, truth be told you should have been putting out that effort for awhile now.  But don’t despair if you haven’t already started: just get your ass in gear and figure out what you want to do and, more importantly, WHY you want to do it.  Then (and here’s the really tricky part) go do it! Don’t wait for someone to give you permission or for the circumstances to be just right; they won’t.  Not ever.

Remember one thing: the only moment you really own is this one, right now.  If you let it slip by, it belongs to the past, not you.  And the ones coming up? Those belong to the future, not you.  You get this one.  Use it wisely.

So tell me: what are YOU going to do in 2011 to make it your best year ever?  Share your vision in the comments, and thanks for reading!

OK.  Enough is enough.  I’m ready to be a blogger again.

Seriously.  As soon as I take on this Blog Whisperer identity and the extra work starts rolling in, I completely abandon the one thing that’s made it all possible, the one thing that I love to do: blogging.  Well, that’s over.  Not the extra work, mind you…just the “not blogging” nonsense.

So I’m throwing down the gauntlet: here and now, I commit to writing at least one post per day, whether it’s on this blog or on The Blog Whisperer blog.  In fact, some days it’ll probably be both.  Even if it’s just one word (which would really surprise some people), you will see a post worth reading.

Don’t get me wrong, though; this isn’t about writing posts just for the sake of writing them.  It’s about reminding myself that what I love to do more than anything else in the world is to share ideas.

So there you have it.  Follow the madness here, and if you haven’t already, subscribe to the Blog Whisperer’s RSS feed so you don’t miss any of the posts.  And don’t just stand there; feel free to join the conversation, or to start a 30-day blogging challenge of your own.  Because I know you have great ideas to share, and I’m dying to hear them!

See you on the other side!  (For those of you keeping track, that’ll be December 14th…yikes!)

Cross-posted to The Blog Whisperer Community Blog

Let’s talk about billboards.

Seriously?   Where I live in Sacramento, ClearChannel has just erected about 10 new electronic billboards and, from the looks of things, major corporations (like Bloomberg and Yahoo!) are lining up to pay the big bucks to be featured on these larger than life TVs.  Unbelievable.  This is a prime example of…

Mistake #5:  You Don’t Follow Up To Make Sure They Did It

Millions, if not billions, of dollars are spent every year on marketing efforts that are supposed to “raise awareness” of the brands who are spending the money.  Please.  I’d be hard pressed to find a worse use of those marketing funds, especially when there is no way for the companies who are spending the money to measure the effectiveness of the ads.

The Bloomberg ads that are currently running on the new electronic billboards in Sacramento are a perfect example: they essentially say “Bloomberg is for smart people; you should watch it.”  Really?  I can’t imagine how Bloomberg expects to measure the return on this campaign, other than to make a random attribution of the 0.1% increase in viewership following the ad campaign to the billboards.  What a waste.

In contrast, a local gym made good use of billboards recently: they had a “Text to Win” campaign.  If you sent a text message, per the instructions on the billboard, to their short-code, you were entered to win a free years membership to the gym.  Once they’d collected all the phone numbers, they chose a winner for the year-long membership, and everyone else won a consolation prize of a free 2-week membership.

The gym got something at the end of their campaign that Bloomberg never will: measurable results.  I spoke with one of their reps who said that the campaign was an overwhelming success.  As proof, I offer the fact that it took them nearly 5 months to call me to notify me that I was a winner.  Obviously, they’d collected a few phone numbers.  And those 2-week complimentary memberships?  They were the perfect opportunity to build a list of prime prospects for gym membership.

Bloomberg and Yahoo!, on the other hand, are left to guess whether their campaigns were effective.  They had no measurable way to track their results.

And that’s the lesson for you: if you don’t have a system for measuring the effectiveness of your marketing campaigns, you might as well not be marketing.  After all, if you don’t have a measuring stick for performance, how do you know if you’ve succeeded?

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I’m in Vegas this week, attending the SMB Nation Fall Conference.  Look for posts about the different events and trainings, as well as special tidbits I pick up while I’m here.  Maybe even a video or two…who knows.  Talk to you soon!

If you’re not going to put 100% effort into doing a great job then don’t do your job. Just stay home. Catch up on some sleep. Take the day and vege. Heck, take the rest of your career off.

While that’s a pretty rough statement, in this “value-driven world” it’s very appropriate. Luckily there’s a positive side to it as well.

Very early on my grandfather drilled the need to “do your job well” into my head. His favorite one-liner was, “If you don’t have the time to do it right the first time how are you ever going to have the time to do it over?” (And believe me, if he thought it wasn’t right you DID do it over.) Lucky Strikes and Jim Beam aside, my grand-dad was a wise man.

He also taught me to shake hands the proper way, to remember names, and always say “thank you”. He never read an email and probably wouldn’t have made it as long as he did if somebody had sent him a TXT message. If he were alive today I’m sure he’d be labeled a renaissance man.

Fast forward 20 years and we are multi-tasking our way through our day trying to cram 60+ hours into a (some say*) reasonable 40 hour work week. And then balance that with family, eating right and getting enough exercise and rest. If this is you then I have a question; How’s that working for ya?

Hey Todd! You mentioned a positive side, care to expand on that?

Yep, slow really is fast!

We slow down.

We do everything we do with 100% of our focused energy.

And we complete it – correctly and in a timely manner. (Do you remember that feeling called accomplishment?)

The bottom line is if we are not committed to doing something with everything we’ve got then why even start it? Eliminate it. And that frees up the time necessary to other things well.

Do it for 30 days. Your business, personal, and spiritual life will reward you in ways that you can only dream about today. Let’s both do it. And then we’ll talk in a month and share how our lives changed.

Thank you for taking the time read this. I appreciate you!

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Todd Pillars is an Appreciation Coach and Relationship and Referral Builder. Please contact him today at 419-855-2273 or todd@toddpillars.com to SUPERCharge your Referrals!

Or head on over to http://www.idealreferral.com to discover how to set your Referrals on AutoPilot.

I had big plans for tonight’s blog post.  It was going to be amazing and life-changing for all of my readers.  It was going to be the best blog post ever written.  And then it happened: life.

I went straight from the office to a Master Mind meeting; when I got home, I realized it was my night to cook.  After we ate, I sat down to blog, then got into a long conversation with my wife about her hectic day.  When I got back, I realized two things: it was really late, and I still had a podcast episode to edit and post.  Gah.  So much for the world’s first perfect blog post.

As I was editing the podcast, though, I remembered one of the core concepts we’d discussed in this episode: what to do when your real life interrupts your work life.  It’s an interesting question, and one that gets a lot of consideration.  A lot of experts urge you to find this mythical place called “work-life balance” (if you ever find it, please send me the map).  What I remembered was one of the things our guest, Dan Waldschmidt, had said: work-life balance is a pipe dream.

Face it folks: if you’re working hard on your business, chances are pretty good that other areas of your life (your relationships, your health, etc.) are going to suffer a little.  That’s not a bad thing; it’s just the way it is when you only have 24 hours to get done what needs doing.  We’re only human after all.

So I’m curious: what do you do when your personal life encroaches on your work life, or vice versa?  What are your strategies for trying to achieve harmony in the different areas of your life?  Let’s chat about that; who knows but that the comment you leave might be the key to someone else’s success, so don’t be stingy with the advice, OK?

And if you’re looking for a little additional inspiration, give that podcast episode a listen; it’s pretty good stuff.  Thanks Dan.

I had a really compelling dinner conversation tonight with Jim Pelley, Karl Palachuk and Jeff Marmins (each a genius in his own right, in my humble opinion).  One of the things we all agreed on, and the inspiration for this post, was what I’m going to start calling the M-Myth (if Michael Gerber is reading this, I hope he’ll remember that imitation is the sincerest kind of flattery).

The M-Myth was born in the Information Age, and it’s been plaguing business professionals and entrepreneurs for decades.  It’s destroyed careers and businesses, occasionally even lives.  What is the M-Myth?  It’s the myth of multi-tasking.

Some people claim to have this ability, even wearing it as a badge of honor.  They strut around with a misguided superiority complex, thinking that their ability to multi-task somehow puts them in the intellectual elite, with a brain so powerful, one task just isn’t enough!  Well, here’s the bad news: multi-tasking is impossible! At least, that is, for humans.  Computers can almost pull it off, but even they (as Karl points out in his book Relax, Focus, Succeed) have to chunk the separate tasks down into steps that get done one at a time; it just looks like multi-tasking because they do it really, really fast.

Jeff highlighted the impossibility of multi-tasking by using the simplest example: having a cup of coffee while doing some kind of work, let’s say writing a blog post.  Some would consider this multi-tasking in its most basic form, but think about it for a minute.  What’s really going on?  Am I really doing two things simultaneously?  No.  In order to take a sip of my coffee, what do I have to do?  That’s right: I have to stop writing my blog.  Makes it pretty clear, doesn’t it?  We really can only do one thing at a time.  Multi-tasking is a myth, and a dangerous one at that.  How so?

Think about what happens when you try to multi-task at work.  For example, what happens when you are talking to a customer on the phone while reading an email from a coworker?  Are you able to do either task justice?  No.  All you’re really doing is creating distraction and lowering the quality of performance on both tasks, and your work suffers as a result.

How about at home?  How well does it work to listen to your spouse talk about their day while reading the newspaper?  Not well at all.

So rather than perpetuate the M-Myth, why not do what successful people everywhere have learned to do: focus on one task at a time, do it really well, then move on to the next, giving each your full attention.  Developing this ability to focus is one of the greatest tools in your professional arsenal.  Don’t neglect it in pursuit of the M-Myth.