Category Archives: mindset

Andy Rooney, the Truth, and You

“That’s what a writer does. A writer’s job is to tell the truth.” – Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney

I was reading an article about Andy Rooney’s death earlier this week, and I came across that quote.  Rooney, best known for his curmudgeonly opinion pieces at the end of episodes of “60 Minutes“, is one of my heroes.  Granted, I haven’t worked my way through all 1,097 of his show-enders, but what I’ve seen consistently is a man who wasn’t afraid to speak his mind.  He didn’t hold back.

Sometimes he offended people, sometimes he caused an uproar, but he always spoke his truth.  He didn’t form his opinions by sticking his finger to the wind or consulting focus groups; he knew where he stood.  Whether you agreed with him or not, whether you like him or not, you got the sense that he was a person of conviction.

What Does It Mean to Choose the Truth?

There seem to be a lot of opinions about what qualifies as the truth these days. Politicians of every stripe, religious leaders and zealots, philosophers and scientists all clamor for attention as they hold up their ancient teachings or current opinions or latest discoveries as “the truth”, the one and only way to believe. It can be pretty confusing to digest, and even harder to actually do anything with it all.

Fortunately, that’s not the kind of truth I’m talking about when I speak of choosing the truth. It’s not universal truth I’m interested in; I’ll leave that chase to others. What I’m digging for and becoming more obsessed with every day is the pursuit of personal truth, that thing at the core of each of us that is the driving force of our lives…or should be.

And there’s the rub. Too many of us have stopped caring about our personal truth. We’ve sacrificed it to the gods of Comfort, Complacency, and Conformity. We’ve found that life is easier if we don’t make waves or have big dreams, that things go more smoothly if we just keep our heads down, keep plodding along, and ignore the tugging at our souls to do bigger, more important things.

But the more we ignore the tugging, the deeper our world sinks into mediocrity. Each day, with every decision to give up on the pursuit of greatness and settle for what life has served up with smiles on our faces, the world gets a little grayer and a little more bland. It doesn’t have to be that way; we can choose differently. We can choose the truth.

Learning To Walk Again…Where Do I Begin?

Well hello there; it’s been a while, hasn’t it. Don’t worry, though: I’m not going to bore you with the details this time. I’ve just been off hibernating. Ruminating. Percolating. Meditating.

The Foo Fighters have always been a favorite band of mine and their new song “Walk” (the video above) takes it to a whole new level. It’s a fantastic song on a lot of levels, but more than anything it’s the lyrics; they really hit home right now. I am, indeed, learning to walk again. I’ve certainly waited long enough. So…where do I begin?

Everything is moving. My business is steadily growing, I’m working on a couple of joint ventures that look promising, and I have a project in the works that’s looking to be incredibly fun and exciting. At the same time, I’m getting acquainted with being single for the first time in a long time. And I’m performing again.

Dear Universe: Message Received…You Can Stop Hitting Me Now

Last week was another one of those “learning” weeks.

It all started on Wednesday when my BFF Carolyn posted the video for Nickleback’s song “If Today Was Your Last Day” on Facebook.  I’m not a huge Nickleback fan, but I love the message of this song.  My favorite line: “Against the grain should be a way of life. What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight.”  After all of the discoveries from the past few weeks, you’d think I’d be used to this by now, but hearing this song stopped me in my tracks and reminded me just how fragile life is and how I shouldn’t be wasting any time doing things I don’t really care about.

Then came the hard lesson: on Friday morning, I learned that a kid I had known out in Calaveras County, and who I’d spent some time mentoring when I lived there, had died in a car accident the day before.

Holy. Shit.

He was only 20…newly married…his whole life ahead of him.  And gone.  Just like that.  His Facebook page is still up…his friends have been leaving messages and tagging pictures.  Welcome to mourning in the digital age.  I keep going back and reading the new posts and thinking over and over about the delicate thread we hang on by.

The Most Powerful Question In the Universe

Yesterday I promised to reveal the question that has transformed my life and taken me from playing small to playing larger than I ever have, from showing up as the janitor to embracing my inner rock star and finally, finally starting to live on purpose. But before I do, let me tell you a little about the events leading up to this discovery and how taking some of these steps can help you to finally quiet those voices in your head that keep telling you that you’re not good enough.

I’d been up visiting family in Oregon for my niece’s graduation. On the way home, we decided to stop overnight in the little town where I grew up, Cave Junction, Oregon (go ahead, Google it…you’ll be stunned). We spent Sunday night at my uncle’s house, and Monday morning we decided to putter around town for a few hours before heading back home to Sacramento.

It had been a long, long time, like a couple of decades, since I’d spent any significant time in CJ (that’s what we locals call it). I’d been back in my adult life for three occassions: the funerals of my grandparents, the funeral of my cousin, Steven, and the wedding of my niece, Kristy. Each of those trips had been accomplished, round trip from Sacramento, in a single day. Meaning in and out, no time for sight-seeing. This time was different; no one was in a hurry, and we just wandered around a bit.

And then it happened: I said I wanted to go to my old elementary school and take a picture and, as soon as I set foot on that hallowed ground, I started shaking and getting choked up, then crying. It made no sense. There I was, a grown man, standing in front of this timy little school and weeping. Ummm…WTF?

On Finding Yourself and Learning to Like What You Find

You know how sometimes a person pulls a Thoreau and wanders off into the woods to do a little soul-searching, then when they come back all they want to talk about is all the existential shit they discovered while they were off with the trees, but all you really want to talk about is what a bitch Becky at work is being? Yeah, it’s gonna be one of those posts.

You see, while I haven’t been off “finding myself” in the woods, the place I was wandering was almost as scary. I’ve been on walkabout in my own head, and let me tell you: it’s no walk in Central Park in there. Unless we’re talking about the scene in that Roy Scheider/Meryl Streep flick “Still of the Night” where the crazy killer lady is just on the other side of that tunnel waiting to kill someone; it’s kind of like that Central Park.

And what did I find on this dark and dangerous excursion? As corny as it sounds, I think I finally found my self-worth.

Look, you and I have entered into a kind of unspoken arrangement: you come here because you like the things I say or because what I talk about resonates with you (thank you for that!), and I come here because I’ve realized that openness and honesty are the first steps on my road to redemption. On your side of the unspoken agreement, you’ve concurred that if you like what you read you’ll come back again, maybe leave a comment, maybe tell a friend or two, and help grow this community of rebels and non-conformists. On my side, I’ve agreed to share it all, no matter how messy, in the hope that something I say or do will be just the thing you needed to see or hear today.

Watching the Ships Burn

A friend reminded me the other day of the parable (variously attributed to Alexander the Great, Cortes and others) of the adventurer who, on landing on the shores of his destination, burned his ships to send a message to his men that there was no turning back.  She had recently had a “ship-burning” moment of her own and was at the same time ecstatic and nervous.

I had mine last Wednesday, and I know exactly what she’s talking about.

You see, setting the ships on fire is fun: you get to play with matches and lighter fluid, which is always a good time.  It’s only when you’re standing on the shore, watching the flames engulf every last scrap of wood, that you get the sinking, “Oh shit!” feeling in your stomach and begin to wonder if you did the right thing and whether you remembered to pay the insurance premium this month.

Don’t get me wrong; I know that burning the ships was the right thing to do.  If I hadn’t, I don’t think I’d ever have broken away from some of the things that have been holding me back.  I’m simply acknowledging the fear, owning it, staring it in its ugly face, getting ready to let it go.

Is This What Exhaustion Feels Like?

The days are blurring together. Literally. I sometimes forget whether it’s Monday and I should be writing a proposal for a new computer network, or Saturday and I’m supposed to be recording a podcast and setting up someone’s blog, or Thursday and I should be at a networking mixer, or Tuesday and I should be on a conference call about an upcoming Intel Hybrid Cloud event.

Sometimes, I just want to stop.  It would feel really good, I think, to take a week off, sit in a chair on the beach, and catch up on some reading.  But then I remember: I love what I do, and I love my life.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

My friends and family (especially my family) keep telling me that I need to slow down.  I love the fact that they’re concerned about me; I really do.  The funny thing is that they come across like they think my life sucks.  I promise you though: it doesn’t.  I’m tired, I don’t really have much of a social life (unless you count the networking, which pretty much rocks if you live in Sacramento), I have two day jobs and a part-time business, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Motivation 101: Step 1 – Ask Why

Since I’m giving away free copies of my Motivation 101 audio program to anyone who signs up for the Motivation 101 newsletter, I decided to dust off a series of articles about the topic of motivation that I wrote for TLT Magazine around the time that the program was originally released.

Here’s the first article in the series; please let me know how asking “Why?” has helped you achieve your goals in the comments.  Thanks for reading!

When It Comes to Goals, Ask “Why?”, Not “How?”

If you’re like most selling professionals, you’ve probably got a list of written goals…somewhere.  Some of you have them tacked to the wall in front of your desk, others in your day planners or PDAs; some of you have them filed away in the bottom of a drawer and would have trouble finding them if asked.  Regardless of where you have your list of goals, though, you’ve already accomplished something major: you’ve engaged a powerful ally in your success by writing them down.

Stratospheric Success? Follow these Five Laws – Part 1 – Guest Post by Todd Pillars

The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David MannThe biggest reward of using the “The Go-Giver” as one of our Bob Burg International Consultant coaching programs is that not only do I get to read the book, I get to devour it (while being mentored by the author), and then I’m priveleged to share it with others. There is true power in knowing your craft well enough to teach it to others.

In a short 30 minute chat with Jerry Kennedy on his Blog Whisperer Radio program it has solidified my belief that business as we’ve known it for the last two decades (more or less, your mileage may vary) is so antiquated that to continue “as it’s always been” is maybe the most deadly thing you can do to your business.

If your business has stagnated over the last 12 months, if it’s slowed down to “just getting by”, or if you have serious concerns if you’ll be in business 12 months from now you can cheer up! Pick up the book and follow along as we discover and APPLY these “Five Laws of Stratospheric Success”.

The first Law, The Law of Value states; “Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value that you take in payment”.